害怕

总觉得有一种不安的感觉

真的好害怕。。但又很无助

我害怕焦虑。。我害怕忍受

我害怕受伤。。我害怕难过

我害怕争吵。。我害怕痛苦

我害怕憎恨。。我害怕失去

我害怕不开心的事情会再度发生

我该怎么办。。？

怎么才能让我不安的感觉彻底的消失？

我真的不懂。。谁能告诉我？

Weekends in KL

Finally I had made the decision to follow CK's car back on Thursday evening.

However, I could only spent a short night in Penang.

Friday morning 9am I reach Reuben's place and wait them to get ready for departure.

After we move everything into the car, we departed at almost 10am.

Going to KL took almost a 4 hours journey.

We took our lunch in the R&R and continue to head KL.

The moment we reach Subang Jaya is already 3pm in the afternoon.

Wow, KL's traffic is so terrible at anywhere and anytime.

We were stuck in the traffic for so long.

Luckily I do not stay in KL..if not I really can't stand the traffic here.

By the way, we stay in Hotel Sun Inn.

The hotel is not bad although it is small.

The only thing is it doesn't provide toothpaste and the body shampoo, shampoo and conditioner is the same-.-

Luckily I brought my own towel. I don't dare to use the towel provided. It smells like Maggie Mee@.@

At 5pm we move to Volvo showroom at GlenMarie which is the place we perform.

Supposedly it takes only around half and hour to reach there but we took 1 and the half hours because we keep on taking the wrong road.

The highways in KL are so complicated. We can hardly find our way to the Volvo showroom although it is just opposite us. Besides the traffic congestion is getting even worse as we were moving on the peak hours.

By the time we reach Volvo showroom is already 6.40 while we have to start at 7pm sharp.

Luckily we weren't late but we were really in a hurry.

Anyway, the performance was going fine and finished at 9pm.

After packing our things we went back to Subang Jaya.

Before go back to the hotel we took our dinner in Mamak stall.

And again, the parking was so full and we have to go around many times to search for parking.

About 11 we only get to rest. Everyone was so tired.

On the next day we head to KL central after checking out from the hotel.

We went to Sungei Wang for lunch and shopping.

After 3pm Rebecca and Reuben left Sg Wang while me and Deborah continue our shopping.

I really couldn't resist to buy the clothes here because they are so nice and cheap!!

We took our dinner at Nando's and continue to shop in Sg Wang.

We really can spend a whole day here.

Finally I bought a few dresses, 2 pairs of shoes and 1 pair of slippers.

Reuben and Rebecca came to fetch us at around 10pm after they finished performed.

Then we head our way back to Penang!

相信

曾经我有两位可以分享心事很要好的朋友都让我失望过

而渐渐地，这两位好朋友与我的距离变得越来越远，越来越陌生了。。

如今，我算是失去了两位可以谈心事的好朋友了吧

就因为如此，我再也不敢把自己的心事与朋友分享

我的生活里也不会再出现“好朋友”或“知己”

因为我害怕失望。。我害怕难过。。我更害怕失去

也许是我个人原因吧。。或者也许是事实的转变。。

也许我太敏感了。。也许我小气？

对。。我确实还蛮小气的

虽然有时表面上我可以很无所谓

但心里上我是很介意

因为想维护友情。。介意又怎么能开得了口呢

可是原本的迁就与维护却变成了毁坏

果然我的弱点毁坏了我所拥有的一切

我一直抱着“我以为你会懂”的心态

可是原来你是不懂的

种种不愉快的往事

让我不敢再去相信任何人

就算是再亲密不过的亲人。。

我也不敢百分百的相信他

信任。。就像在赌人格一样

朋友就是你的筹码

赌赢了，友情就能永固

虽然如此就算赢了，随着时间的改变，人也会变！

如果赌输了，不但伤感情，而且会产生恨意

我赌不起，，因为我不想输掉任何一位朋友

所以我选择不完全去信任一个人是有我的苦衷的

好听的说，就是我不想失去

不好听的说，就是我自私

因为我想保护自己避免再度受到伤害

♥Us♥

~Edited By Jane~

Pain Ulcer..Ouch

I had a pain ulcer in my mouth..

and it is on my TOUGUE..

it is really painful..even when I talk I can't really talk properly

I have to eat slowly and carefully..T.T

Haih...hopefully this ulcer could get rid immediately from my tongue if not it is really suffering!

As usual, today went to classes in the morning..

afternoon I was so tired and fall asleep..

I woke up at almost 5.30 while my class is on 6.30..

before class we went to photocopy some notes and luckily we manage to get to school right on time.

The moment we reach the class our classmate told us CLASS CANCEL! =.=

Why didn't the tutor give us the notice earlier so that we don't have to waste our time and energy to go to school..and because of this class i have to force myself get up from bed...errgh!

But luckily today Sim Yee fetch us with her car...so that we don't have to walk so far just for the cancelled class.."thanks Sim Yee" =)

Many of my classmates were discussing for going back to home town as tomorrow we don't have class..(class cancel)

They were talking about going back on Thursday or Friday..

if for Thursday, they can go back earlier but have to skip Friday's Financial Analysis Statement lecture.

Well for me, I will for sure skip Friday's lecture because Reuben they are going to KL in the morning...but I'm wondering about whether to go back tomorrow or stay at Kampar until Friday let Reuben they all fetch me to KL.

If I'm going back I can spend a night in Penang but have to waste RM2o over for bus fare.

Whereas if I stay in Kampar let Reuben come and fetch me I scare it is quite troublesome to them..sigh..till now I still can't make any decision..@.@

How I wish I don't have to go to KL for performance on this Friday so that I could spend more time in Penang...but since I already promised them, I can't back out.

Back and forth

Today took ferry to butterworth then took bus to parit buntar and sit Flora's car to Kampar..

What a tiring day! Anyway..really appreciate Flora for fetching me n Qi Fang..since we could not buy any bus ticket back.

My weekends in Penang was great.

The performance on Sunday was well done..

everything runs smoothly except during the afternoon session in the church..

there were some issues with the priest i guess..but i don't really know whats going on in fact..

I was there only to perform...and we played only a few songs and just a short while..

This is the most relaxed and easiest performance in my life..lol

but we were there sweating like hell..

This is also the 1st time i attended catholic's wedding

it was just simple and meaningful..while the Chinese wedding is bustling with noise and excitement.

Another session is in the Park Royal Hotel. This is the second time i perform here.

We played in the garden for the guest while they are waiting for the dinner to be started.

Again, we were sweating constantly..luckily it last only 1 hour..

After the performance, Mum brought me and Edmund to Nyonnya Breeze for dinner.

Actually i demanded for it..haha

We only get to eat our dinner at 9pm...it was almost supper..i was hungry like hell while waiting for the food to be served.

Well, I always love Nyonnya breeze's food, and my mum as well...

the dishes are always so delicious and taste so nice!!

But one thing is they are a bit expensive...we can't afford to eat there often.

I was so lucky for this semester because I don't have class on Monday!

Besides, my class on Tuesday starts at 2pm...so i can go back on Tuesday morning.

I really love to spend as much as possible of my time in Penang.

Okay..lets see what have i did on Monday..

I went to Redbox with Yu Sheng, Xing Wang and Zhen Xiang in the afternoon.

Some of our friends put us aeroplane again..so left only 4 of us..-.-

Surprisingly 3 of them can sing so well!

After redbox went to Prangin Mall with Edmund and his brother.

We walk to Komtar 2 times until my foot were getting so tired..

Although Komtar has renewed, but it seems like doesn't change much as before.

Except there is a Komtar Walk, where many restaurants located there.

The Pacific in the Komtar is almost the same like others department stores..

I don't really like to shop there...maybe the building still looks old..?

or might well i don't feel the "feel" of a shopping mall or department stores..@.@

Before go back home suddenly i was hunger for Ice Kacang so Edmund brought us to Padang at Dato Keramat. We ate Char Koey Teow, Fried Oyster and ofcourse Ice Kacang which i desired the most. Both Char Koey Teow and Fried Oyster are so tasty. I love the Char Koey Teow,..until now i still can remember the taste...waa..makes my mouth water already..lol

I really hope that every weekend i could go back to Penang...

but this is so impossible..perhaps during the first few weeks still able to do so..

but after week 4 will be busy for assignments and mid terms...sigh!

Besides, everyweek back and forth from Kampar to Penang and from Penang to Kampar is really tiring...ofcourse wasting money too!

But i rather spend to go back Penang as to staying in the boring Kampar..

Haih...I just want to finish my degree faster! So i can leave Kampar FOREVER!!

Holiday mood

Year 3 sem 1 already started a week..

but i still in the holiday mood..

I really don't have the mood to study..

even we have to begin some findings for our assignments..

but i'm so resisted to start the work..SIGH!

Besides, this weekend i came back to Penang as I have to do performance (tomorrow^^)

Spending weekends in Penang is totally a kind of relaxation and amusement

as compare to staying in Kampar..it would become a boring and lifeless weekends..

which i really hate the most-.-

Anyway..yesterday i drove back to Penang..

fetching Qi Fang, Chun Keat and Alan..

Driving on the endless highway in the afternoon is really drowsy

Its really enviable sawing the two guys sleeping soundly behind while i have to concentrate on the road..but what to do? Driver always have to sacrifice..

Luckily Qi Fang didn't fall asleep..at least we could talk a bit..

otherwise I also fall sleep and I would have murdered 3 ppls..lol

Friday night having a rehearsal for the coming performance on Sunday

I only realized there are two performance we have to make..

one is 2pm in a church and another one is 6pm in Park Royal Hotel..

Great..atleast i have more income..(hopefully..^^)

As usual the 4 quartet players-Me, Reuben, Rebecca and Debra are playing for it..

Its been more than a year since the last time i play in the quartet for performance with them..

by the way..i really enjoy it..not because of the income, is because of the nice songs we played..=)

After rehearsal Edmund brought me to Gurney watch movies with his brothers and Han Shern and Six Sense..so dissapointing that the movie was suck...i don't really know whats going on in the movie..and the funny thing is the gangsters caught by the police still able to sing a song together..and the song is so funny! Silly movie=.=''

Wasting money for this movie la..somemore RM10 per person..

Haih...wasted only!

Well..i slept late last night and woke up at 9am this morning

so tired..feel like don't wanna get up from the bed but i have to do so because the rehearsal will starts in an hour..pity Edmund has to wake up and fetch me although this is suppose to be his sleeping hour..=/ ..thx lo dear..hehe

after rehearsal went to McD have our lunch..

Finally i get the free contour glass..and it is PINK! "my favourite"..wohoo! =D

but end up with my stomach going to blast!

Took a nap in the afternoon and woke up watch YouTube videos

i love to watch "how its made"..

it shows the manufacturing of different kind of things..so nice!

Dinner went to eat Lao Fu Zi Bak Kut Teh with mum and Edmund..

I always love and prefer Lao Fu Zi Bak Kut Teh to others Bak Kut Teh..

And again..i was so full!

I wonder why i can't eat much nowadays..

What's happen with my stomach?

I wasn't like this last time..

Don't say i'm on diet-ing..I'M NOT okay!

I really hope i can eat more cz i really love to eat!

But the problem is my stomach is so limited!! I can't eat much!

Is not i want to eat so little..so pls don't say i'm on diet anymore..!

Good Luck and all the best to Edmund for tomorrow's exam...Muacks!

Headache!

Headache Headache HEADACHE!!

Kampar Night Market

Today drove to school...(my first time driving inside UTAR Campus...lol)

luckily I still manage to find a space for parking..

I saw many cars park at the non parking area..

and the management put a notice at the car's mirror stating that the car owner will be fined RM300 for parking anywhere next time..something like that..

but is this the driver's fault?

I think this should be UTAR's fault..

Since the last semester the car park spaces have already so limited

Now came the new batch of students..somemore many of them drive to school

The students keep increasing but yet the car park spaces remain the same..

how can students don't simply park to avoid being late for class..

Pls la UTAR...they charge so expensive for school fees and don't improve the facilities..some more have to fine students for simply parking....*speechless*

Afternoon went to Tesco do some shopping with Qi Fang, Siew Choo and Sim Yee

First time shopping with Qi Fang and Sim Yee..haha

I wonder why Qi Fang didn't buy anything..

For the past semesters she seldom go to Tesco shopping..perhaps never?

but how come she still can survive with only some groceries she brought from Penang without adding any of them.?

I'm so different from her..I must have some biscuits and beverages and especially SNACKS in my room..thats why there are so many things in my room..they are not rubbish..most of them are my FOOD SUPPLY okay!

After the last tutorial class me, Qi Fang and Sim Yee went to the night market.

This is also the first time night market-ing with them..lol

Unsuprisingly..the pasar malam is crowded with STUDENTS

Oh dear..everyone is sweating like hell and we have to push and squeeze with others to move forward..we even need to queue for so long to buy a food..

Everytime I go to pasar malam sure spend a lot 1..atleast RM10 for sure..

but never mind la..once a week only..still okla hor..tomorrow eat lesser lo..haha

this is what i used to humbug myself..=P

About 8 something only reach home and i was so tired

after bath and eat finally get to relax..

but later still have to do some findings for assignments..

Assignments!!@.@...this is only the 2nd day of the semester..

and our lecturers have already brief all the assignments and assign topics to us..

we have to start doing our assignment by now..2nd day of class!1st week of the sem!

I started to feel the stress already T.T

but anyway..if we don't start now sooner or later we still have to do it

by that time we are hundred times more stressful than now!

really hate assignments...arrgh! ><

Sick

I'm sick again =.=

I think i've been cursed..??

cause every time when I came back from Penang, the next day in Kampar i will definitely fall sick..Sigh..!! wonder why i'm so weak..

Today's 2 lectures I can't really pay full attention..

I don't even know what the lecturer is talking during the 2nd lecture management accounting

but i think she has a sense of humour..she tells jokes that are not really funny but yet she can made the students laugh..thats what we called "cold jokes"..lol

Join Qi fang n Zhe Jia for dinner..

I didn't want to eat at 1st cz i don't have appetite at all..

I don't even feel hunger to eat..

But since they ask me wanna join them for dinner..so i jz say OK lo..

And finally i couldn't finish my food-.-

Just right now my house mate Katherine knocked on my door

I saw her holding a piece of cake n pass it to me

then i only found out today is her birthday...

Wish her Happy birthday and thanks to her cake^^

n now i'm eating sambil blogging..hoho..

Well...i think i have to go to bed soon

Hopefully tmr i can get well..

Once again..

Happy Birthday to Katherine and Joycelyn Tan =)